Chili: Sweet & Hot

I’m not a chef, but I know what I like… and I LOVE CHILI!

My wife found a recipe for chili online that I really, really like and I want to share my version of it with the world. I feel extremely selfish that mine are the only tastebuds fortunate enough to have been blessed by the flavors you’re about to experience.

I should start by warning you that this chili isn’t for everyone. It’s sweet. It’s hot… that’s the point. I don’t like anything so hot that it’s painful or distracting, but, if done properly, this chili will bring a bead of sweat to your brow about halfway through your bowl. It’s perfect.

I should also mention that I don’t measure anything. I eyeball it… So I took pictures as I made a pot of this chili and included them to serve as a guide. The whole process takes about 2.5 hours, but the majority of that time is spent in a crock pot, so it’s really pretty quick to put together.


Numbers and measurements are what I happened to use for this pot…

  • Ground Beef (2 pounds)
  • Onions (2)
  • Kidney Beans (2 cans)
  • Black Beans (1 can)
  • Beef Broth (1 can)
  • Diced Tomatoes (1 large can)
  • Tomato Paste (1/2 small can)
  • Peppers
    Serrano (2)
    Red Chilies (2)
    Jalapeño (4)
    Habanero (2)
  • Spices
    Ground Cumin
    Garlic Powder
    Chili Powder
    Crushed Red Pepper


Chop up your onions and peppers and put them in a pot.



Add the meat and put the pot over medium heat until its browned.




PROTIP: When cutting your peppers, wear gloves. This will save you the pain of getting capsaicin on your hands, under your nails, in your cuticles, in your eyes, nose, mouth or a VERY memorable trip to the bathroom!


After the beef is cooked, drain any fat and grease.


Drain the beans, put em in.




Add the beef broth and diced tomatoes (don’t drain them). Mix well


Add the garlic powder, chili powder crushed red pepper and cumin to taste.



Put in the brown sugar… Don’t be shy. I used about a 1/2 cup. This is what you taste first. This is what counters the spice to let the flavor build as you eat.



PROTIP: When adding spices pay attention to when you feel like you’ve probably added too much… then add just a little more. You know what you like, make what you like. Without spices chili would just be meat and beans in tomatoey beef water. No one wants that.


Once everything has been added to the pot, and mixed well, bring the whole thing to a boil, stirring occasionally over medium/high heat.



After your chili starts bubblin you can put it in your crock pot. Be careful, it’ll splash and it hurts. Set the crock pot to low and let it do what it does for about 2 hours. You can let it go longer, but 2 hours will get the job done.


PROTIP: If, like me, you prefer your chili thicker you can add a little flour after it’s been in the crock pot for 2 hours or so. Add it a little at a time, stirring as you go. This prevents clumping and allows you to customize the consistency.


You don’t need instructions for this part, but I took pictures of my bowl so you’re getting it. I consider 2 cups one serving. This comes in at 575 calories.

So that’s it. That’s my chili. I hope you like it, but like I said, “it’s not for everybody.”

CHILI: Tasty & Hilarious

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